Living in a home with three boys has caused me to reach more deeply for my inner pink from time to time – you know, that place where it’s safe to enjoy a romantic comedy, read a good Karen Kingsbury novel or cry over a lonely moment. The fact is that God gave women deep emotions for a purpose … to best play our role in His story. But, as I shared in a previous post (see “A Desire to Dance“), I believe that anything God intends for good, Satan will attempt to attack, neutralize or decommission.
I … believe that Satan sets out to decommission each of us … to attack us in our areas of strength in order to make us weak and ineffective. For men, his attacks are often directed at your physical strength and sexual nature. Satan wants you disengaged and dissatisfied. In the case of women, I believe he seeks to damage our emotions, remove our hope and degrade our trust. Satan wants us sad and scared.
Pink Hearts
In his book, Love and Respect, Emerson Eggerichs suggests that women see through pink lenses, speak through pink megaphones and hear through pink hearing aids whereas men employ blue glasses, megaphones and hearing aids. (And I propose that we think pink as well. 
) He asks, “What is that one thing that is going on inside of her, where the code is obviously pink?” and he answers, “The woman absolutely needs love.”
An interesting metaphor that differentiates between the sexes, but note the foundational element of pink? Love. With it, our heart and mind are filled and engaged. Without it, our spirit retreats, our senses are clouded and our emotions are damaged. Eggerichs states, “The Lord has created a woman to love. Her whole approach to nurture, her sensitivity, love, and compassion are all part of her very nature.” He addressed a women’s, “one driving need, and that’s to feel loved for who she is. When that need is met, she feels fulfilled.”
Love and Security
Our temptation is to look to a husband, a boyfriend or even the dream of a significant other for emotional fulfillment and security. The works of Jane Austen shed light on the deep human – and God-given – desire for a woman to feel loved and safe. In more than one novel, she closes the story with more than just a relationship restored, but with the provision of a home as well.
Although a healthy relationship facilitates the health and growth of the both individuals, I don’t believe God ever intended this form of relationship to replace the connection intended for Him alone … the healthiest – and safest – of of all earthly relationships.
Without hope in someone greater than ourselves and our imperfect relationships, loneliness, abuse, insecurity, loss, sin and brokenness overwhelm our system and defeat our defenses. Pain and fear take root. Love fades and unhealthy overcompensation replaces trust and faith in our one Hope (Ephesians 4:1-6).
Romancing the Arrows
Brent Curtis and John Eldredge, authors of The Sacred Romance recognize the arrows of life – pain, unrealized hopes, sin – that challenge our emotional growth, “The Romance [with god] invites us to trust. The Arrows intimidate us into self-reliance. … The Arrows strike at the most vital places in our hearts, the things we care most about.”
Decisions made from the unhealth of an arrow – or arrows – will likely reap unhealthy results, for you and for those affected by the decision. Healing is the best investment for all concerned. “At some point we all face the same decision – what will we do with the Arrows we’ve known?” states the authors. Some people chose to deaden their hearts, others try to fill their heart’s longings with the wrong things. Curtis and Eldredge suggest, “Part of our journey forward is a journey backward into our stories, to bring all the events of our lives – the Arrows and the Haunting – into the light of the Sacred Romance for their proper interpretation. … in a way that gives energy to the present and direction to the future.”
At its foundation, emotional healing requires a transformation of thinking … about God, ourselves and how we relate to others. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Emotional and mental healing requires one to untwist “twisted thinking” patterns (David Burns) through healthy input and information processing.
Emotional Maturity
Emotional maturity is the fruit of testing and temptations, pain and growth, strength and peace … it is a journey to believe in, trust in and obey Father, Son and Spirit. Emotional health and stability rests in a connection to “such a community” (true Austen-ian verbage ). In Living Beyond Yourself, Beth Moore speaks of a “through faith,” a faith that “goes through” (vs. around or retreats), believing in God’s presence and provision on the journey and for the promised land that awaits on the other side of struggle.
Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, encourages readers on a progressive path “from dependence to independence to interdependence” in our emotional development. He states, “Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own effort. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.” This combination, founded on God’s power and provision, will produce deep and lasting change and fulfillment .
Pink Think
Pink Think, a healthy emotional (heart and mind) processing of life, celebrates a confidence in His presence – and our purpose – on the journey. With it we are equipped to help (Genesis 2:18) the people God puts in our path and to love interdependently.
My greatest hope and motivation for this blog is to address what my pastor, Doug Newton, recently described as “a poverty of spirit” by facilitating emotional health. I believe emotional maturity is the glue women offer the world of relationships. It is strengthened by the spiritual and, in turn, strengthens the relational.
A “Faith That Fights”
I encourage you to develop a “faith that fights” (Beth Moore, LBY) … fight despair, fight pain, fight loneliness, fight past mistakes, fight through grief and fight fear with a strength of mind and heart bent on knowing God, following God and serving God will all your might (and with all your emotions ).
Proud to be pink … Robyn
